What is Love Actually?

As we whether into the “month of love” thanks to the tradition of Valentine’s Day, let us ponder on what love is actually.

Love is one of the few things we all recognise when it arrives…the feeling in our bodies, how the world looks differently in those moments, and yet struggle to define when asked.

Love isn’t only romance, nor is it limited to people. Love is attention. Love is presence. Love is the quiet decision to stay awake to life instead of drifting past it.

At its core, love is the act of allowing something to matter.

Love as Attention

To love someone, or something, is to give it your full attention without trying to control it. Love listens more than it speaks. It notices details others rush past: the way someone pauses before answering, the light shifting across a room in late afternoon, the familiar comfort of silence shared.

Love is not simply a feeling you fall into. It is a practice. A daily choice to look closely and care deeply, even when it would be easier not to.

The Speed of Real Life

Modern life moves fast. Days blur together. Moments pass before we realize they mattered. We scroll, multitask, plan ahead, rarely staying long enough to feel where we are.

This is where love becomes an act of resistance.

To love is to slow time down…

To hold real life close, not by freezing it, but by fully inhabiting it while it’s here.

How We Hold Love Close

We hold real life close the moment we stop rushing past it.

We do it when we:

• Sit with discomfort instead of distracting ourselves.

• Speak honestly, even when our voice trembles.

• Allow ourselves to be changed by what we experience.

• Stay present when something is beautiful and when it is painful.

Love does not preserve moments like photographs; it weaves them into us. The memory of a laugh, a shared meal, a difficult conversation, these moments live on because we were fully present when they happened.

Keeping Love in Our Lives

Keeping love is not about gripping tightly. It is about returning, again and again, to presence.

You keep love by:

• Showing up consistently, not perfectly.

• Choosing curiosity over assumption.

• Letting people evolve without demanding they remain the same.

• Allowing yourself to be known, even when it risks loss.

Love endures not because it is permanent, but because it is renewed. Each day it asks: Will you pay attention today? Will you care today?

Love as a Way of Living

In the end, love is less about possession and more about participation. It is how we say yes to life as it is…unfinished, fragile, fleeting.

When we love, we hold real life close long enough to truly live it.

Exercise Love

Take a moment for appreciation. Start with your surroundings.

1) What around you are you grateful for, makes you feel comfortable, happy, loving or loved ? Include nature, pets, your environment and people.

2) Take a moment to look into yourself, remember the younger you and what they loved.

3) Take in deep breaths and imagine you embracing that younger self at different stages in life. Thanking them and telling them that they are loving and loved and appreciated by you. Have them tell you the same.

4) Hug yourself ! No matter where you are, take a moment and let your body feel the embrace your mind is experiencing in gratitude .